Heard on a bus - "I had one of those but the knob fell off".
What was it that had a knob, then lost it ? Yes, I shouldn't have been listening,
but I was bored.
Tuesday, 8 September 2015
Saturday, 25 July 2015
A nice birthday present
It's my 59th birthday today. A great start - on waking, I could walk - only happens once every couple of months (normally it takes about half an hour to crawl across the bedroom floor).
Wheeee !!!
Still got a sprained wrist from riding a badly-adjusted drift trike - fair price. I decided some time ago that if I have to get old I'm going to damn well make sure it isn't a dignified old age !
Wheeee !!!
Still got a sprained wrist from riding a badly-adjusted drift trike - fair price. I decided some time ago that if I have to get old I'm going to damn well make sure it isn't a dignified old age !
Sunday, 19 April 2015
Poem "Don't Quit" by that busy writer "Anonymous"
"Don't Quit"
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road ahead seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
rest if you must but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver lining of the seeds of doubt,
and you can never tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far,
so, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
it's when things go wrong that you must not quit.
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road ahead seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
rest if you must but don't you quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
the silver lining of the seeds of doubt,
and you can never tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far,
so, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
it's when things go wrong that you must not quit.
yippee !
Woke up this morning to find I could walk (that hasn't happened in several months ! make it to the loo instead of the commode, then started dancing the can-can. At that point reality tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me I'm a rubbish dancer. Oh well.....
Sunday, 22 March 2015
Some days with Parkinsons
A bad day
9 am 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet Amantadine
Lever self out of bed onto commode. Can’t walk till medication kicks in, (Once I decided I damn well would walk, picked up the potty out of the commode and stepped forward – then fell face down in the potty - a wonderful start to the day !) so I crawl – even that’s an effort - round end of bed to my laptop and lie on the floor browsing the internet. One hour later – nope, left leg still won’t step forward unless I reach down and pull it. Cross as I want breakfast (there’s a kettle within reach but I’m too shaky to hold the mug.) Decide to get dressed (20 minutes), crawl to bathroom then kitchen. Eventually manage to make coffee and toast – margarine goes everywhere.
11 am – pills finally effective but I’m tired from the extra effort. Out to shops.
12.30 – first signs of pills wearing off.
12.45 – off (left leg won’t walk, right a bit uncoordinated, tremor going full blast.) Back from shopping, it takes me 35 minutes to get from the garage (after parking mobility scooter) to my flat – it should take 3. The effort is tiring, so I lie down for ten minutes wishing I was near the kettle as I’m gasping for a coffee. Have taken 1pm pills on way up (1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg (if needed), 1 tablet Sinemet 12.5mg). Lurch into kitchen and aim lunch at face, some of it goes in and some squelches down my front to the floor. Decide to clean up later and curse when I step in it on my way out. Still mostly off, though can walk with an effort if holding onto something.
3 pm 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
4.15 pm still off, still fed up.
5 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
6 pm – wheee ! Finally on again !
9 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg, 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg,
1 tablet Perindopril erbumine 2mg Can feel myself going off. 10.30 pm - off !
11.30 still off. Crawl to telly and turn it off, start crawling to bathroom. Aim toothbrush at
teeth and miss – again ! wipe toothpaste off face and start crawling for bedroom.
12.30 Made it to bedroom (about 10 feet) and undress. Lie on floor and read to recover from the effort and hope this will lead to unfreezing – it does sometimes.
Bedtime 1 Rotigotine patch 8mg, 1 tablet Simvastatin 40 mg, 1 aspirin 75mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg
2 am – finally on. Lurch to bathroom , poke tablets for tomorrow into pillbox (damn childproof caps), collapse into bed and pass out before having time to turn the light off.
An average day
9 am 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet Amantadine.
Stiff as a plank. Crawl (even my crawling is stiff) round bed and lie on floor playing with my computer while waiting for the tablets to kick in. I’d like breakfast but that’ll have to wait. 10.10 am – Muscles have relaxed – do some exercises and stand up –yup, still wobbly but both legs going in the same direction. Get dressed, after usual fight with teeny bra hooks, breakfast. Spill coffee again and reach for stain remover before it sets. Two hours left in which I can rely on working legs. Ignore chores and go for cycle ride.
1pm coming back up the stairs to my flat I can feel my walking start to go unsteady. 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg, 1 tablet Sinemet 12.5mg. Lunch. When I get up I have to pull myself along the kitchen cabinets. Write letter to DVLC trying to discover what the dopey sods are doing about my driving licence renewal (13 months and counting). 2.30 pm – “on” again. half an hour later, just as I’m getting ready to go out – “off” again, though only unsteady not unable to walk – aargh! Outing postponed.
3 pm 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
4.30 pm – on again. Parkie lets me resume life.
5 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
9 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg, 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg,
1 tablet Perindopril erbumine 2mg
10 pm - off – sinemet not working yet – miss climax of film while crawling to the loo –grrrr !
11.30 – Sinemet still not working, start bedroom crawl again (see above)
Bedtime -1 Rotigotine patch 8mg, 1 tablet Simvastatin 40 mg, 1 aspirin 75mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg
A good day
As for average day, except for shorter afternoon “off” or on rare occasions no afternoon “off” and the evening Sinemet works.
About once every 2 months I find on waking that I can walk – whoopee !
9 am 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet Amantadine
Lever self out of bed onto commode. Can’t walk till medication kicks in, (Once I decided I damn well would walk, picked up the potty out of the commode and stepped forward – then fell face down in the potty - a wonderful start to the day !) so I crawl – even that’s an effort - round end of bed to my laptop and lie on the floor browsing the internet. One hour later – nope, left leg still won’t step forward unless I reach down and pull it. Cross as I want breakfast (there’s a kettle within reach but I’m too shaky to hold the mug.) Decide to get dressed (20 minutes), crawl to bathroom then kitchen. Eventually manage to make coffee and toast – margarine goes everywhere.
11 am – pills finally effective but I’m tired from the extra effort. Out to shops.
12.30 – first signs of pills wearing off.
12.45 – off (left leg won’t walk, right a bit uncoordinated, tremor going full blast.) Back from shopping, it takes me 35 minutes to get from the garage (after parking mobility scooter) to my flat – it should take 3. The effort is tiring, so I lie down for ten minutes wishing I was near the kettle as I’m gasping for a coffee. Have taken 1pm pills on way up (1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg (if needed), 1 tablet Sinemet 12.5mg). Lurch into kitchen and aim lunch at face, some of it goes in and some squelches down my front to the floor. Decide to clean up later and curse when I step in it on my way out. Still mostly off, though can walk with an effort if holding onto something.
3 pm 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
4.15 pm still off, still fed up.
5 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
6 pm – wheee ! Finally on again !
9 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg, 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg,
1 tablet Perindopril erbumine 2mg Can feel myself going off. 10.30 pm - off !
11.30 still off. Crawl to telly and turn it off, start crawling to bathroom. Aim toothbrush at
teeth and miss – again ! wipe toothpaste off face and start crawling for bedroom.
12.30 Made it to bedroom (about 10 feet) and undress. Lie on floor and read to recover from the effort and hope this will lead to unfreezing – it does sometimes.
Bedtime 1 Rotigotine patch 8mg, 1 tablet Simvastatin 40 mg, 1 aspirin 75mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg
2 am – finally on. Lurch to bathroom , poke tablets for tomorrow into pillbox (damn childproof caps), collapse into bed and pass out before having time to turn the light off.
An average day
9 am 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet Amantadine.
Stiff as a plank. Crawl (even my crawling is stiff) round bed and lie on floor playing with my computer while waiting for the tablets to kick in. I’d like breakfast but that’ll have to wait. 10.10 am – Muscles have relaxed – do some exercises and stand up –yup, still wobbly but both legs going in the same direction. Get dressed, after usual fight with teeny bra hooks, breakfast. Spill coffee again and reach for stain remover before it sets. Two hours left in which I can rely on working legs. Ignore chores and go for cycle ride.
1pm coming back up the stairs to my flat I can feel my walking start to go unsteady. 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg, 1 tablet Sinemet 12.5mg. Lunch. When I get up I have to pull myself along the kitchen cabinets. Write letter to DVLC trying to discover what the dopey sods are doing about my driving licence renewal (13 months and counting). 2.30 pm – “on” again. half an hour later, just as I’m getting ready to go out – “off” again, though only unsteady not unable to walk – aargh! Outing postponed.
3 pm 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg, 1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg, 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
4.30 pm – on again. Parkie lets me resume life.
5 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg; 1 tablet half Sinemet CR 25mg
9 pm 1 tablet Entacapone 200mg, 1 tablet Sinemet CR 50mg, 1 tablet Pramipexole 700mg,
1 tablet Perindopril erbumine 2mg
10 pm - off – sinemet not working yet – miss climax of film while crawling to the loo –grrrr !
11.30 – Sinemet still not working, start bedroom crawl again (see above)
Bedtime -1 Rotigotine patch 8mg, 1 tablet Simvastatin 40 mg, 1 aspirin 75mg,
1 tablet Oxybutinin 5mg
A good day
As for average day, except for shorter afternoon “off” or on rare occasions no afternoon “off” and the evening Sinemet works.
About once every 2 months I find on waking that I can walk – whoopee !
Thursday, 1 January 2015
An odd incident
Some years ago I was on a short holiday in the English countryside. Strolling down a narrow road (no pavement, barely wide enough for two cars to pass) I met a large flock of sheep being herded along the road towards me.
When about twenty yards from me, the leading sheep saw me and stopped dead with a frightened expression. All the other sheep promptly stopped too.
The shepherd and his dogs were at the back and couldn't get through the solid block of frozen wool - soon the road was blocked by about a hundred sheep, two dogs, the shepherd , a tractor, several cars and a van - with me standing in front of the lot !
I tried encouraging noises - no use.. Finally the shepherd shouted "grab the bugger at the front and pull ! " .
I grabbed the wool on the leading sheep's head and pulled - they're heavy animals and stubborn, but so am I. Eventually it had no choice but to move - whereupon the whole carnival started moving, leaving me by the roadside looking guilty - but I hadn't done anything ! (Alright, maybe I did whisper "mint sauce").
When about twenty yards from me, the leading sheep saw me and stopped dead with a frightened expression. All the other sheep promptly stopped too.
The shepherd and his dogs were at the back and couldn't get through the solid block of frozen wool - soon the road was blocked by about a hundred sheep, two dogs, the shepherd , a tractor, several cars and a van - with me standing in front of the lot !
I tried encouraging noises - no use.. Finally the shepherd shouted "grab the bugger at the front and pull ! " .
I grabbed the wool on the leading sheep's head and pulled - they're heavy animals and stubborn, but so am I. Eventually it had no choice but to move - whereupon the whole carnival started moving, leaving me by the roadside looking guilty - but I hadn't done anything ! (Alright, maybe I did whisper "mint sauce").
Saturday, 20 December 2014
What a nice man
I recently noticed a "floater" (a little speck) dancing inside my left eye. Consulting my
optician, I was frightened to hear that this was a sign of mild cataracts.
The optician said not to worry, as "everybody gets them" - this din't help.
In an effort to cheer myself up, I'v named the floater "Cyril" and wrote a note to my doctor for advice. Here's his reply (addressed to "Miss Amanda Phillips and Cyril") -
Dear Miss Phillips
Many thanks for your note. I hope I can reassure you that Cyril is unlikely to be a major problem and you do not need to be concerned. If you do experience any reduction in vision we can quickly and simply replace the lens. Please do not be concerned about him !
Happy Christmas.
Tim Bates
GP Fort House Surgery
optician, I was frightened to hear that this was a sign of mild cataracts.
The optician said not to worry, as "everybody gets them" - this din't help.
In an effort to cheer myself up, I'v named the floater "Cyril" and wrote a note to my doctor for advice. Here's his reply (addressed to "Miss Amanda Phillips and Cyril") -
Dear Miss Phillips
Many thanks for your note. I hope I can reassure you that Cyril is unlikely to be a major problem and you do not need to be concerned. If you do experience any reduction in vision we can quickly and simply replace the lens. Please do not be concerned about him !
Happy Christmas.
Tim Bates
GP Fort House Surgery
Saturday, 29 November 2014
Monday, 13 October 2014
Places I've had a Parkinson's "freeze"
1. While blocking the doorway leading to the public toilets in the local shopping centre - this did not make me popular !
2. In an office car-park on my way into a job interview. Lost all chance of a job before I'd even got inside.
3. Half-way across the road - I was nearly roadkill that time but managed to get to a pedestrian island "refuge" partway across.
4. In the middle of the foyer of the bank on my way to see the manager. It's a rather imposing building - or it is when I'm not standing in the middle of it swearing.
Anyone else out there got some interesting places to freeze in ?
2. In an office car-park on my way into a job interview. Lost all chance of a job before I'd even got inside.
3. Half-way across the road - I was nearly roadkill that time but managed to get to a pedestrian island "refuge" partway across.
4. In the middle of the foyer of the bank on my way to see the manager. It's a rather imposing building - or it is when I'm not standing in the middle of it swearing.
Anyone else out there got some interesting places to freeze in ?
Monday, 6 October 2014
Rules for writers
I've read this a number of times and it still makes me laugh -
http://www.chem.gla.ac.uk/research/groups/protein/pert/safire.rules.html
http://www.chem.gla.ac.uk/research/groups/protein/pert/safire.rules.html
Tuesday, 23 September 2014
My musical instruments
My hobby is collecting (and attempting to play) musical instruments.
I just finished making a list of them and thought I'd share it with you -
Tuneable "D" Tony Dixon tin whistle
Low D" Tony Dixon tin whistle
Two "D" tin whistles
"C" tin whistle
6-hole wooden whistle
Plastic flute
7-hole wooden whistle / recorder
Treble recorder
Chalameau (half clarinet, half recorder)
9 descant recorders
14-string wooden cymbala (small zither)
16-string wooden cymbala
red wooden 38-string zither (modern copy of Victorian original)
large wood zither
Mini English "Gremlin" concertina
English concertina
Accoustic solutions electronic keyboard
rollup electronic keyboard
Small Casio electronic keyboard
Farfissa electronic keyboard
Mini stylophone
Stylophone
Elecronic chord organ
Chromatic mouth organ
Casio pink electronic keyboard
Melodica Student 26 (old design)
Wooden melodica
Casio CTK481 electronic keyboad
panpipes
Casio SA75 electronic keyboard
"PLay on" electronic keyboad
3 mouthorgans
"Smash hiits" electronic keyboard
Hohner "Fire" melodica
Plastic melodica (partly broken)
Hohner melodion
Chanson "toy" accordion
Pink ukele
Polished-wood ukele
MC36 electronic keyboard
large "Play on" keyboard
Bontempi red melodica
electronic drum-pads set
clarinet
Lyre - 12-string
12-string lap harp
Yamaha keyboard in brown case
blue metallic zither
3/4 size guitar
Yama PSS140 keyboard
Yamaha "Music station" keyboard
Large yamaha keyboard
I may have got a bit carried away with my collecting !
I just finished making a list of them and thought I'd share it with you -
Tuneable "D" Tony Dixon tin whistle
Low D" Tony Dixon tin whistle
Two "D" tin whistles
"C" tin whistle
6-hole wooden whistle
Plastic flute
7-hole wooden whistle / recorder
Treble recorder
Chalameau (half clarinet, half recorder)
9 descant recorders
14-string wooden cymbala (small zither)
16-string wooden cymbala
red wooden 38-string zither (modern copy of Victorian original)
large wood zither
Mini English "Gremlin" concertina
English concertina
Accoustic solutions electronic keyboard
rollup electronic keyboard
Small Casio electronic keyboard
Farfissa electronic keyboard
Mini stylophone
Stylophone
Elecronic chord organ
Chromatic mouth organ
Casio pink electronic keyboard
Melodica Student 26 (old design)
Wooden melodica
Casio CTK481 electronic keyboad
panpipes
Casio SA75 electronic keyboard
"PLay on" electronic keyboad
3 mouthorgans
"Smash hiits" electronic keyboard
Hohner "Fire" melodica
Plastic melodica (partly broken)
Hohner melodion
Chanson "toy" accordion
Pink ukele
Polished-wood ukele
MC36 electronic keyboard
large "Play on" keyboard
Bontempi red melodica
electronic drum-pads set
clarinet
Lyre - 12-string
12-string lap harp
Yamaha keyboard in brown case
blue metallic zither
3/4 size guitar
Yama PSS140 keyboard
Yamaha "Music station" keyboard
Large yamaha keyboard
I may have got a bit carried away with my collecting !
Tuesday, 26 August 2014
Sidmouth Folkweek 2014
I recently returned from my annual visit to Sidmouth folkweek. I've been going for about 20 years now and it's the highlight of my year (why would I want to holiday anywhere else /?)
Sidmouth is a small (usually quiet) town on the Devon coast in southern England. For one week a year the entire place rings with folk music - Morris dancing on the promenade, "scratch" orchestras in the council offices and rugby clubs, dance workshops and instrument-playing lessons everywhere, concerts in the pubs - and buskers wherever they can make themselves heard , even in the churchyard (which always worries me a bit - exactly what might applaud ?!)
There's a river (the "Sid") which runs through the town,with a shallow ford at one point. On the last afternoon, there is always an unofficial barn-dance in the ford. It has no organiser and is never advertised because if anyone drowned they'd be sued (though the water is two inches deep at most !)
but various people bring instruments (some even play the same tune !), a few dozen dance in the stream, while several hundred stand around watching and getting in the way of each others' cameras.
Here's a link to some youtube videos - more to come -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYQ5ZjAFNvdpoo99ykvS48w/videos
Sidmouth is a small (usually quiet) town on the Devon coast in southern England. For one week a year the entire place rings with folk music - Morris dancing on the promenade, "scratch" orchestras in the council offices and rugby clubs, dance workshops and instrument-playing lessons everywhere, concerts in the pubs - and buskers wherever they can make themselves heard , even in the churchyard (which always worries me a bit - exactly what might applaud ?!)
There's a river (the "Sid") which runs through the town,with a shallow ford at one point. On the last afternoon, there is always an unofficial barn-dance in the ford. It has no organiser and is never advertised because if anyone drowned they'd be sued (though the water is two inches deep at most !)
but various people bring instruments (some even play the same tune !), a few dozen dance in the stream, while several hundred stand around watching and getting in the way of each others' cameras.
Here's a link to some youtube videos - more to come -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYQ5ZjAFNvdpoo99ykvS48w/videos
Friday, 18 July 2014
The following is autobiographical but I've written it in the third person as I am no longer the girl in the story.
The day that the circus left town
The girl was thirteen and puberty had started, but she was shy and young for her age, with life still centering round home, with her protective parents and younger brother, plus school and girl-guide meetings, Life was safe, had always been safe, and she hadn't ever had reason to think it wouldn't always be that way.
They weren't rich, but as far as the girl knew, her parents hadn't any particular money worries.
Life was much the same as always. It was a quiet dead-end and in summer the children played in the road and ran in out of each other's gardens - sometimes swimming in or canoeing on the nearby river.
The local idea of crime was pinching flowers from a neighbours' garden, which got you a nasty scolding followed by a forced public apology. In winter kids crowded chattering into bedrooms, sheds or playrooms. The business of having to wear a bra was a bit odd, but still world was safe, normal, usual.
The christmas after the girl turned 13, grandma came to stay (father's mother, her mother's parents were already dead). There was a slight tension in the air as mum and grandma had never really got along (grandma saw mother as slightly lower-class, which puzzled the girl and her brother), however this was normal too and the two women kept their differences to the odd muttered grumble.
The girl had always enjoyed her grandma's company, partly because grandma used to hide tiny penny toys around her house for children to find.
It was two days after Christmas and grandma was planning to leave next day. It was breakfast time and by chance the girl was the only one around when grandma came out of her bedroom). The old lady was in her eighties, but had always moved steadily, so the girl was confused to see that grandma was struggling to walk and couldn't manage to come down the stairs. She promptly ran up the stairs, and supporting her grandmother firmly, helped her to the kitchen door.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone" said grandma, and when the girl hesitated, "PROMISE ME !" - so she did, and fumbling at the door, grandma went in.
It was worrying - you could get into trouble breaking promises to adults, but grandma wasn't acting right. She went to her father, "Dad, there's something wrong with grandma. She said not to tell but she can't walk right and I think she's ill." He got up and went to his mother.
Next thing the girl knew, grandma was back int the spare bedroom and doctors were in and out. Her father said she had done the right thing and grandma had had something called a "stroke". In the afternoon, the girl went in to see her grandma, a bit nervously in case she got scolded for telling, but grandma said she had done the right thing.
The next day, grandma stayed in bed instead of going home. Chatting, she told the girl that she was looking forward to seeing her parents again, which puzzled the girl as they were obviously long gone. The grandma who had always been such a strong, upright and sometimes obstinate argumentative figure in her life seemed to have shrunk. Just before going to bed the girl looked in at her grandma, who seemed to be asleep but was breathing in an oddly loud uneven way. As she dozed off in her room next door, the girl was vaguely aware of different footsteps coming up and down the stairs.
Morning came, the girl ran in to see her grandma - the room was empty, with just a few make-up items to show it's former occupant had ever been there. "Mum,, where's grandma ?" Her mother was calmly making breakfast. "Your grandma died int the night" "But where's her body ? I didn't say goodbye". "The undertakes took it."
Mum turned back to the sink. The girl realized further discussion wasn't welcome. In the lounge her father was sitting, looking stunned. The girl and her brother were not told of the funeral and never heard much of their grandma again, though later they were presented with a legacy of £50 each.
A safe, secure chunk of the world as it had always been was now not there.
A crack had opened in the world of childhood and it began to leak away as the winds of adulthood started up. Anything might change.
The day that the circus left town
The girl was thirteen and puberty had started, but she was shy and young for her age, with life still centering round home, with her protective parents and younger brother, plus school and girl-guide meetings, Life was safe, had always been safe, and she hadn't ever had reason to think it wouldn't always be that way.
They weren't rich, but as far as the girl knew, her parents hadn't any particular money worries.
Life was much the same as always. It was a quiet dead-end and in summer the children played in the road and ran in out of each other's gardens - sometimes swimming in or canoeing on the nearby river.
The local idea of crime was pinching flowers from a neighbours' garden, which got you a nasty scolding followed by a forced public apology. In winter kids crowded chattering into bedrooms, sheds or playrooms. The business of having to wear a bra was a bit odd, but still world was safe, normal, usual.
The christmas after the girl turned 13, grandma came to stay (father's mother, her mother's parents were already dead). There was a slight tension in the air as mum and grandma had never really got along (grandma saw mother as slightly lower-class, which puzzled the girl and her brother), however this was normal too and the two women kept their differences to the odd muttered grumble.
The girl had always enjoyed her grandma's company, partly because grandma used to hide tiny penny toys around her house for children to find.
It was two days after Christmas and grandma was planning to leave next day. It was breakfast time and by chance the girl was the only one around when grandma came out of her bedroom). The old lady was in her eighties, but had always moved steadily, so the girl was confused to see that grandma was struggling to walk and couldn't manage to come down the stairs. She promptly ran up the stairs, and supporting her grandmother firmly, helped her to the kitchen door.
"Promise me you won't tell anyone" said grandma, and when the girl hesitated, "PROMISE ME !" - so she did, and fumbling at the door, grandma went in.
It was worrying - you could get into trouble breaking promises to adults, but grandma wasn't acting right. She went to her father, "Dad, there's something wrong with grandma. She said not to tell but she can't walk right and I think she's ill." He got up and went to his mother.
Next thing the girl knew, grandma was back int the spare bedroom and doctors were in and out. Her father said she had done the right thing and grandma had had something called a "stroke". In the afternoon, the girl went in to see her grandma, a bit nervously in case she got scolded for telling, but grandma said she had done the right thing.
The next day, grandma stayed in bed instead of going home. Chatting, she told the girl that she was looking forward to seeing her parents again, which puzzled the girl as they were obviously long gone. The grandma who had always been such a strong, upright and sometimes obstinate argumentative figure in her life seemed to have shrunk. Just before going to bed the girl looked in at her grandma, who seemed to be asleep but was breathing in an oddly loud uneven way. As she dozed off in her room next door, the girl was vaguely aware of different footsteps coming up and down the stairs.
Morning came, the girl ran in to see her grandma - the room was empty, with just a few make-up items to show it's former occupant had ever been there. "Mum,, where's grandma ?" Her mother was calmly making breakfast. "Your grandma died int the night" "But where's her body ? I didn't say goodbye". "The undertakes took it."
Mum turned back to the sink. The girl realized further discussion wasn't welcome. In the lounge her father was sitting, looking stunned. The girl and her brother were not told of the funeral and never heard much of their grandma again, though later they were presented with a legacy of £50 each.
A safe, secure chunk of the world as it had always been was now not there.
A crack had opened in the world of childhood and it began to leak away as the winds of adulthood started up. Anything might change.
Sunday, 13 July 2014
Parkinson 0, me 1 I win this round, Parkie !
I'm teaching myself to play the English Concertina (sorry, neighbours !) and was finding it difficult because the shaking of my hands kept making the notes warble as my fingers slipped.
This made me mad, so experimented with different positions and discovered that I could brace my arms and prevent most of the shaking by sitting with my feet up on a chair and legs well apart, then holding the concertina in my hands between my legs and pressing my forearms against the insides of my knees.
I look weird this way, but it works and may be useful for other things. So, Parkie you bastard that's one round you lost.
I'm teaching myself to play the English Concertina (sorry, neighbours !) and was finding it difficult because the shaking of my hands kept making the notes warble as my fingers slipped.
This made me mad, so experimented with different positions and discovered that I could brace my arms and prevent most of the shaking by sitting with my feet up on a chair and legs well apart, then holding the concertina in my hands between my legs and pressing my forearms against the insides of my knees.
I look weird this way, but it works and may be useful for other things. So, Parkie you bastard that's one round you lost.
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Some entries from the diary I keep when I can be bothered :
28/07/12
Took a fancy to keep a diary, probably 'cause it's easier than tidying up or studying. Washing-machine sprung a leak - damn - but at least it cleaned the kitchen floor.
No "off" period in afternoon - whee ! Also, could walk when I got up - first time in a fortnight. Didn't go "off" till after midnight. Stayed up till 4am - why?
Sunday 27/07/12 - Three hours sleep - ugh ! Washing-machine much worse, oh good, repair bills ! But kitchen floor nice and clean as leak has washed off all the food my shaky hands drop.
Monday 30.07/12 Just passed a side-road with the delightful name of "Tumbling Bay" - there's no bay, tumbling or otherwise.....
Bought a new sleeve for my laptop, 14 inches, forgot mine was a 15 inch - oops!
Sat 4th August 2012 Whee! Off to Sidmouth Folk Festival (can't afford it but came anyway). Five hours' driving - stopped at "Little Chef" to use their loo and found I'd squashed a traffic cone - think there's still bits stuck to the undercarriage - left briskly before anyone started to yell.
Sunday 5/08/12 Sitting in Sidmouth listening to great ceilidh music and
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
Fuck Parkinson's....
Tuesday 7/08/12 tried busking - one snicker, one sniff from stray dog, no money. Then bunch of Morris dancers started up a few yards away and drowned me out.
Saturday 11/08/12 End of holiday - more depressing due to police closing A30 (so they got home quicker \?) - had to take major detour to get home - 6 1.2 hours.
Monday 20/08/12 Woke up, found I could walk normally (yippee), so dashed down hall, drew living-room curtains, made coffee in kitchen, back to bedroom, into bathroom - and froze !
Thursday 23/08/12 My morning to volunteer at the IT centre in \Engelfield Green - very frustrated as morning pills just would not take effect - getting downstairs in stiff mode is exhausting as left leg has to be forced every inch.
September 2012 Passed a builder's yard offering "distressed railway sleepers" for sale. They didn't look upset to me, just a bit battered and worn. Strange term - wonder what it means ?
I bought a second-hand laptop on ebay for £56 to replace the one that lost an argument with a glass of water. A bargain, though no cd drive. Not the latest model of course, but so what, quite adequate.
28/07/12
Took a fancy to keep a diary, probably 'cause it's easier than tidying up or studying. Washing-machine sprung a leak - damn - but at least it cleaned the kitchen floor.
No "off" period in afternoon - whee ! Also, could walk when I got up - first time in a fortnight. Didn't go "off" till after midnight. Stayed up till 4am - why?
Sunday 27/07/12 - Three hours sleep - ugh ! Washing-machine much worse, oh good, repair bills ! But kitchen floor nice and clean as leak has washed off all the food my shaky hands drop.
Monday 30.07/12 Just passed a side-road with the delightful name of "Tumbling Bay" - there's no bay, tumbling or otherwise.....
Bought a new sleeve for my laptop, 14 inches, forgot mine was a 15 inch - oops!
Sat 4th August 2012 Whee! Off to Sidmouth Folk Festival (can't afford it but came anyway). Five hours' driving - stopped at "Little Chef" to use their loo and found I'd squashed a traffic cone - think there's still bits stuck to the undercarriage - left briskly before anyone started to yell.
Sunday 5/08/12 Sitting in Sidmouth listening to great ceilidh music and
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
I WANT TO DANCE
Fuck Parkinson's....
Tuesday 7/08/12 tried busking - one snicker, one sniff from stray dog, no money. Then bunch of Morris dancers started up a few yards away and drowned me out.
Saturday 11/08/12 End of holiday - more depressing due to police closing A30 (so they got home quicker \?) - had to take major detour to get home - 6 1.2 hours.
Monday 20/08/12 Woke up, found I could walk normally (yippee), so dashed down hall, drew living-room curtains, made coffee in kitchen, back to bedroom, into bathroom - and froze !
Thursday 23/08/12 My morning to volunteer at the IT centre in \Engelfield Green - very frustrated as morning pills just would not take effect - getting downstairs in stiff mode is exhausting as left leg has to be forced every inch.
September 2012 Passed a builder's yard offering "distressed railway sleepers" for sale. They didn't look upset to me, just a bit battered and worn. Strange term - wonder what it means ?
I bought a second-hand laptop on ebay for £56 to replace the one that lost an argument with a glass of water. A bargain, though no cd drive. Not the latest model of course, but so what, quite adequate.
Monday, 14 April 2014
THE GOOD BITS --- PART TWO
Train ride at dawn
One summer’s morning at 6.30 am, I boarded the first train
of the day out of Scarborough station for York. A crisp, sunny morning but rather cold for
August and the whole world seemed to yawning and stretching. As we pulled out of the station, some of my
fellow passengers grumbled sleepily at each other, and rabbits foraging on the
line hopped crossly off the tracks at the last minute, seeming to curse the
train as they did so. Everything seemed to bursting with promises for the
future.
Pre-breakfast walk
in the snow.
A bitterly cold January morning in the mid-eighties. Snow on the ground, traffic sliding on icy
roads and pedestrians wearing so many clothes you just saw their eyeballs and
noses. My employers had sent me on a
residential management-training course at Theobalds Park, a training centre set
in parkland on the edge of London. With
the roads iced-up, and the course running into the evening, it was difficult to
get away for a break, and by the second day I was going stir-crazy. Not
normally an early-riser (four alarm clocks to get me up), I got
up an hour early, and at the first hesitant peek of a winter dawn, put on all the
jumpers I’d brought with me plus coat
and boots, and crunched out into a winter dawn for some fresh air.
It was more like frozen air; there were several inches of snow on the ground, my breath
steamed in front of me, and though I could hear the sound of cars on icy roads
a short way off, they weren’t visible through parkland. Where I walked was silent white wonderland as
I padded footprints through white sheets of snow.
After a few minutes, I almost bumped into a
rabbit, which blended in nicely in his
white winter fur – he obviously hadn’t expected a human and bolted despite my
attempt to explain that I wasn’t a threat.
For about half an hour it was like having a little pristine world all to
myself; I barely noticed the cold. Then I went back inside to breakfast and found my classmates had eaten all the bacon.
Sunday, 13 April 2014
THE GOOD BITS - PART ONE
--------------------------------------------
My brother's birth
I was just past three years old and a bit confused - I knew something unusual was happening but wasn't sure what (apparently I'd been told in detail but hadn't really understood). It was unsettling having Grandma get my breakfast when Mummy always did that - and Grandma wasn't doing things in the right way !
Also, there were strange people upstairs, Mummy was still in bed and I wasn't allowed to see her.
Then as I finished eating, Grandma said I could go up now. I ran into the bedroom and Mummy said
"There;s your new brother !" There was a box-like cot-bed by the window - I ran over to it and there was
a small leg waving in the air as a tiny person looked up at me, as fascinated as I was.
Wow ! Dolls never interested me again. Mum never did find out who taught him to kick all the water out of the baby-bath onto the carpet !
Having a baby gerbil sleep in my hand
In our teens, my brother brought a couple of gerbils home as pets. Owing to unreliable sex-determination by the pet shop, we ended up with a population explosion - did you know gerbils are sex maniacs ? At one point, something went wrong and one of the females started to eat her not-quite-weaned litter, so we had to separate the babies and hand-feed them with bits of pulped fruit. The babies, probably shocked by their sudden removal, stayed huddled together, so one afternoon I picked one up to feed it. Crouched in the palm of my hand, it was frightened at first, but nibbled bits of vegetable, then sniffing my fingers, peered between them, relaxed, curled up and fell fast asleep in the palm of my hand.
--------------------------------------------
My brother's birth
I was just past three years old and a bit confused - I knew something unusual was happening but wasn't sure what (apparently I'd been told in detail but hadn't really understood). It was unsettling having Grandma get my breakfast when Mummy always did that - and Grandma wasn't doing things in the right way !
Also, there were strange people upstairs, Mummy was still in bed and I wasn't allowed to see her.
Then as I finished eating, Grandma said I could go up now. I ran into the bedroom and Mummy said
"There;s your new brother !" There was a box-like cot-bed by the window - I ran over to it and there was
a small leg waving in the air as a tiny person looked up at me, as fascinated as I was.
Wow ! Dolls never interested me again. Mum never did find out who taught him to kick all the water out of the baby-bath onto the carpet !
Having a baby gerbil sleep in my hand
In our teens, my brother brought a couple of gerbils home as pets. Owing to unreliable sex-determination by the pet shop, we ended up with a population explosion - did you know gerbils are sex maniacs ? At one point, something went wrong and one of the females started to eat her not-quite-weaned litter, so we had to separate the babies and hand-feed them with bits of pulped fruit. The babies, probably shocked by their sudden removal, stayed huddled together, so one afternoon I picked one up to feed it. Crouched in the palm of my hand, it was frightened at first, but nibbled bits of vegetable, then sniffing my fingers, peered between them, relaxed, curled up and fell fast asleep in the palm of my hand.
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
Wednesday 26/03/14
I had a dachshund puppy up my trouser leg today !
Was riding my mobility scooter when I stopped to pat the friendly little dog. It sniffed me, licked my ankle, then shot up inside my trouser leg - I was wearing rather flared trousers. The owner grabbed it by the back legs just in time; I was laughing too much to help, it tickled !
I had a dachshund puppy up my trouser leg today !
Was riding my mobility scooter when I stopped to pat the friendly little dog. It sniffed me, licked my ankle, then shot up inside my trouser leg - I was wearing rather flared trousers. The owner grabbed it by the back legs just in time; I was laughing too much to help, it tickled !
Saturday, 22 March 2014
Me, cycling and Parkinson's
Me, cycling and Parkinsons
About a year ago, seeing the Internet discussions on the benefits of cycling for people with Parkinson's, I bought one of these tricycles after seeing it on eBay and thinking it looked like a cheap, fun introduction to cycling -
It's called a Cyco cycle, and in addition to no handlebars, has no brakes, which makes slopes interesting, though you can brake to some extent by pedalling slowly. I loved it so much the first one wore out in 4 months and /I had to buy another (they're made in the USA so the shipping was a bit dear.
I get stopped by tourists as a local attraction, and chased by small dogs. so much fun I'm afraid they'll make it illegal ! Just a pity the supermarket won't let me go round the aisles on it.
My brother, who often tries to persuade me to be more "grown up" (he works in senior management and I think he sometimes brings his professional manner home with him) is rather embarrassed by my choice of transport, which he calls a "psycho", and has been pressing me to get a "proper" tricycle - my balance isn't good enough for two wheels, tried that, fell off outside the pub and couldn't persuade onlookers I was sober.
Anyway, I saw this trike on ebay and bought it for £80 .
It's been in a barn in Dorking for a while (had something very rural stuck to to the pedals), is a bit worn as to the tyres, but goes OK and I can tie a zimmer frame to the back, which is useful for those wobbly moments.
What puzzles me is, how is it that when Parkinson's plays up and I can't walk, if I can reach a trike and get on, I can pedal just fine ?
The other day, I was out for a ride when I stopped for a break. Twenty minutes later I stood up and was so rigid neither leg would move a step. At the third try, I managed to lever myself onto the saddle - and promptly pedalled home without difficulty - though of course falling over as soon as dismounted. How's that tie in with dopamine levels ?
I'll be interested to see if the stories about cycling relieving Parkinson's symptoms are true; it's only been a couple of weeks since I got the big trike and before that wasn't spending enough time at it to make a difference. My afternoon "off" periods are sometimes shorter at the moment, but that could be a random change....... TBC
About a year ago, seeing the Internet discussions on the benefits of cycling for people with Parkinson's, I bought one of these tricycles after seeing it on eBay and thinking it looked like a cheap, fun introduction to cycling -
I get stopped by tourists as a local attraction, and chased by small dogs. so much fun I'm afraid they'll make it illegal ! Just a pity the supermarket won't let me go round the aisles on it.
My brother, who often tries to persuade me to be more "grown up" (he works in senior management and I think he sometimes brings his professional manner home with him) is rather embarrassed by my choice of transport, which he calls a "psycho", and has been pressing me to get a "proper" tricycle - my balance isn't good enough for two wheels, tried that, fell off outside the pub and couldn't persuade onlookers I was sober.
Anyway, I saw this trike on ebay and bought it for £80 .
What puzzles me is, how is it that when Parkinson's plays up and I can't walk, if I can reach a trike and get on, I can pedal just fine ?
The other day, I was out for a ride when I stopped for a break. Twenty minutes later I stood up and was so rigid neither leg would move a step. At the third try, I managed to lever myself onto the saddle - and promptly pedalled home without difficulty - though of course falling over as soon as dismounted. How's that tie in with dopamine levels ?
I'll be interested to see if the stories about cycling relieving Parkinson's symptoms are true; it's only been a couple of weeks since I got the big trike and before that wasn't spending enough time at it to make a difference. My afternoon "off" periods are sometimes shorter at the moment, but that could be a random change....... TBC
Sunday, 16 March 2014
Some things I've been wondering about :
1. What happens to the middles of holes ?
2. Why, when a group of people are walking on a cliff path, does one of them always remark on there
being a long drop on one side of the path ? It's a cliff, what else do they expect !
3. The newspaper photographs of convicted terrorists always show physically unattractive people - are the pictures taken by incompetent photographers or have the subjects become terrorists due to lack of social success ?
4. Why ask "how are you?" if you don't want to know ?
5. Why do people say "I'll ring you back" if they aren't going to bother ? "Goodbye" would do.
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